The Broken Spectrum Of The World - Delivered

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II
US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ’style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented ” France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

Just pure comedy in my opinion. There’s nothing better then stumping people like this. I found this on a random website and thought that it’d be a great post.

So, I’m standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward…She takes my arm and with trembling voice, she asks….”Have you found Jesus?” Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.

Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 minutes. So by now I’m beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I mean if it’s not Christians, it is the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Can a simple Druid get no peace?

So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic, I reply, “You people lost him, again?”

The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my own.

“What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you’ve lost Him!” I hit her with a glare of accusation. “I mean really…” I take a measured breath. “How do you expect to have anyone follow a deity that you can’t even find?”

The poor woman looks stunned. This isn’t going so good. Panicked she looks desperately to the car… Surely one of the men can help…. Undaunted I press on… “Maybe the problem is with you people. I mean Muslims never seem to loose their deity. Come to think of it neither do Jews or Pagans of any kind.”

I look at the man getting out of the car. He’s all smiles. “I realize you people used to burn people like me at the stake. What was that about… deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever woke up panicked that I couldn’t find my Goddess or God. They are always right where they should be… In the fire of my candle, in the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies).”

“Of course, you Christians aren’t much fun,” I continue. By now they are all out of the car. Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for words. “Of course,” I offer trying to give them some defense for losing Jesus. “He could have left due to religious differences. If I remember correctly, He was Jewish.

So if you are really so eager to find him,” I smile gently to soften the blow, “Check the nearest synagogue. He’s probably in there. Also you folks should try and remember that this is America… Where freedom of religion means ALL religions.”

Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the bus stop… No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven’t found Jesus, but I haven’t lost him either.

Well I got my cable hooked up today while they were out here repairing my internet. Decided on a whim that I’d like to watch tv so I went ahead and had it hooked up. I started out by watching Terminator 3, and after that was over, I changed the channel to Comedy Central and watched Lil’ Bush. Now this is my first time watching this show, and I have to say that I find it hard to grasp the words needed to describe this show. It was hilarious, no doubt about that. Further from it being funny, I just can’t find the words needed to describe how I felt about the show. It seemed like a very left-winged show that was full of propaganda. It was a good attempt at satire I’d have to say, but otherwise the only thing this show is good for, are for a couple of laughs.

I see it as this, you can take it one of two ways. You can take it seriously, as most liberals will, or you can take it for what it truly is, a comedy show that is good for some laughs, but nothing else.